September 27, 2018 at 7:26 pm #6762Alice TimminsParticipant
My friend, M, died three weeks ago abseiling down after a multi-pitch route. It was a huge shock and I’ll miss her forever – she inspired me to try harder and she helped me climb outdoors for the first time. She wouldn’t want me to stop climbing and I don’t intend to.
But I’ve climbed indoors a few times since then and occasionally I think about her fall and death when I’m on the wall. I have a climbing trip coming up and while I’ve always been more nervous climbing outdoors, I know it’s going to be even harder.
Has anyone else experienced this? How do you continue to climb through grief and fear?October 5, 2018 at 2:39 pm #6767Laura KaplanParticipant
Alice, I’m so, so sorry to hear about your friend’s accident. My heart goes out to you and her family and friends. I have not lost a climbing friend this way, but I and my friends have had some of our own near-misses that really shook us, and one of my friends saw a man die after falling off a climb. I am sure you are right that your friend wouldn’t want you to stop climbing. I don’t know that there’s much good advice to give. The only thing that really lessens the grief and shock is time and more experience on rock. I think all you can really do is keep getting out there, keep learning how to keep yourself and your partners safe (ask lots of questions, watch youtube videos on safety, read the forums on Mountain Project, take a class, etc), and don’t push yourself too hard or too fast to the place where you start to panic. You can always back off if things get too intense. Good luck to you! I hope your trip is healing, and again I am so sorry about your friend.October 7, 2018 at 7:35 pm #6768Alice TimminsParticipant
Thank you so much, Laura.
You’re right, I think frequently reviewing how to be as safe as possible will help. I looked at some videos, just to double check the things I already know, and that made me feel a bit better. I’d like to do a class at some point that focuses on safety.
The mental side of climbing will be tough. So, yeah, I think backing off if it gets too intense might be the best thing for now. It sucks – she always made me feel braver.
Thank you again for replying. I moved to the US last year and don’t have any close climbing friends. I’ve not told any of my new climbing partners, partly because I don’t want to freak them out.October 23, 2018 at 12:12 pm #6781Modesto LeyraParticipant
Yes its really dangerous topic for the climbers and the motivators. Because mostly climbers and mountaineers face the accidentally death. It’s really beneficial australian writing sad movements for their relatives and their friends when a climber die between the climbing and mountaineering. I don’t like climbing because i like to alive.
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